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Picture Book Writer Musings: Cutting Characters

October 5, 2018 / 16 Comments

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Cover Art for “The Bookworm and the Butterfly” Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter

A year ago, I wrote my first picture book.

Back then, I called it The Bookworm of Blackwood Briar. I had planned for the story to be the first in an alliterative series of picture books. My goal: BRING BACK ALLITERATION! I used to love it as a kid, so why not have kids reading more alliteration today?

I joined Storyteller Academy taught by author/illustrator, Arree Chung, knowing that the story I had written was special. Different. It was ready to go!

I was sure of it.

Our first workshop arrived and I submitted my book dummy. I knew Arree would love Benny’s story and so would all the others in the class! I was confident in myself and the story I had written. I read it with all the enthusiasm I could muster, flowing through all my B-words with ease.

When I read the last line, I waited. Dead silence answered. Then, the reviewing began. The critiques were tough to hear. Most loved my alliteration, but alliteration is one of those things: you either love it, or you hate it. From further research since then, I found that most agents feel the latter about it.

The first time Benny sees Ringo in the original story. Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter.

Arree told me there was too much going on. Too many characters. Was Ringo the rhino beetle really important to the story? The story was about the friendship between Benny (the bookworm) and Beatrice (the butterfly), wasn’t it? According to Arree, adding in Ringo muddled that concept. He was too strong a character and detracted from the point of my story. Arree was sure Ringo was a character I needed to cut.

How could you cut out that face? Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter.

I wasn’t.

I loved Ringo! I mean, come on, a rhino beetle named Ringo? Who wouldn’t love him? He was a bumbling, biscuit-loving, beetle and I was determined to keep him.

Try as I might, I revised. Rewrote. Changed the entire direction of the story…many…many times. Ringo stayed in. But, my story wasn’t working.

Back end pages for original story. Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter.

It went through many names, this beloved tale of mine:

  • The Bookworm of Blackwood Briar
  • Benny the Bookworm
  • Benny and Beatrice
  • Beatrice (Yes, I even tried a version where Beatrice the butterfly took the lead.)

    Here were the front end pages of the “Beatrice” version of the story. Look at caterpillar Beatrice. Isn’t she cute? Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter.
  • The Butterfly and the Bookworm (I was still trying to lead with Beatrice here.)

    Ringo with the butterflies. Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter.

After all of that, and my patient, always-willing-to-read-my-work-no-matter-how-many-times, critique group of mine, and I came to a conclusion…

Ringo had to go.

I tried and I tried to keep him. But, I finally realized myself that he did get in the way of the story, just like Arree had told me a long time back. I just wasn’t ready to listen.

Without Ringo, Benny had to get out of the mess he’d gotten himself into alone. He couldn’t have everything done for him. He had to figure out his own way, on his own.

And there was my story…

How could a worm who’d made a bad decision, and gotten himself into an impossible mess, get himself back out again?

How would he fix things with his dearest friend?

Well, if you think I’m giving those away, you’ve got another thing coming! You’ll just have to wait and read the story, won’t you? <wink, wink>

Finished illustration from the original story that still makes it into this version. Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter.

The story took off! It flowed more easily. It made more sense. It was more fun! Above all, it kept to who the story was really about and never strayed from that.

As I sit here currently getting the book dummy finalized and putting the final tweaks on the wording, I find it’s a good time to reflect on this manuscript’s journey and how far it’s come from where it began.

I still adore Benny and Beatrice just as much as when I created them, more even. I was determined from day one that they were two characters who were going to get a story out of me. They kept their patience with me and I with them. I’m happy to say that we finally have it. Polishing now, but the bones are already there.

I’ve taken their story from a “quiet” one, as an agent had once called it, to something with adventure! Something more marketable. My hope above all else, was to write something children will love, with characters they can connect with.

Ringo will get his own book someday. Mark my words. Perhaps he will even get to meet Benny and Beatrice too! There are endless possibilities with these characters as far as I’m concerned and I can’t wait to explore them all!

Alas, I will leave you with dear Ringo. He will be missed, but not forgotten, for this is the tale of The Bookworm and the Butterfly, and there just weren’t enough pages to contain their story and add in his.

One of my son and my favorite spreads of Ringo from the original story. Photo and Art Credit: J.H. Winter.

 

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